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We’ve all heard about someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis and has waged war on it. We hear, “What a fighter!” Or, “She’s not giving up without a fight!”  Those who love this person feel happy about the possibility of hope because this may mean that they will not have to lose someone they care so much about. Perhaps we have never thought about it before–but as happy as the loved ones are–the person with the terminal condition is not so happy.

“Fighting” anything is not generally thought of as fun, but when we’re talking about our very life being at stake, fighting just feels like fear. Which is all it really is! There’s a multitude of reasons we are so afraid, ranging from being afraid that the medical treatment will not be successful, to fearing that this same treatment will cause our eventual demise. I will pause here a moment and suggest that–although we would all agree that we are talking about a state of life–we may want to question if this is the experience of life that we are willing to accept.

I could site here a hundred scenarios when fighting a terminal diagnosis might be a good decision, and I bet many come to mind as you read this. I am certainly not suggesting that we should never choose to treat a condition! In my experience though, I have witnessed countless people who have found themselves in a state of health that would almost assuredly lead to the ending of their life, yet they are willing to sign up for anything and everything that may give them even the slightest chance to continue living. Often though, the treatments they agree to–and sometimes insist on–leave them in a prolonged state of what I call “survival”.  This state can come with much suffering, not only for the terminally ill person, but the family and loved ones as well. Witnessing the suffering of a loved one is sad at best, and torturous at worst!

So I would offer these questions to ponder; What are we fighting and what are we fighting for?

Here’s a shocking thought; Death is part of life and cannot be separated from it! We cannot choose life without agreeing to death also–and when we fight death–we are fighting life.

Life speaks to us and tells us what we need to know. But what I have seen during my many years of nursing as well as the years I have been an end of life guide, is that many of us aren’t listening. A good example is the frail, elderly person who already has at least one medical condition but agrees to aggressive treatment for the terminal diagnosis. Life is saying, in the only way it knows how, “Enough already, your turn is up!”

So what gets in the way of us surrendering to life, therefore allowing for a better, easier ending of it? Only one thing; fear. In the book, “A Course in Miracles“, it is stated that everything in life is either love or fear. And I would add that fear is not a thing in and of itself, but only an absence of love. Like darkness is only an absence of light.

Let me end this by saying that whatever your religious or spiritual convictions are, maybe just maybe God by whatever name you call it, is Love. And I suggest that if you can tap into this idea in whatever way feels comfortable to you, maybe you can believe that Love will assure that just as you were safe when you were wherever you were before entering this life in your current form, you will go forth in the safe comfort of eternal Love. Maybe you have no need to fight Life after all!

 

Fighting Death or Fighting Life?

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